The hieroglyphic DRS and the powerplay trojan horse

It has been a while since I last posted anything on this due to a variety of reasons (travelling and what not), but I'm pretty sure my 3 regular readers (all of which are close family and friends) will manage to go about their business without being too disappointed. And there have been way too many mismatches for the odd bright spot to balance out what has otherwise been a tepid tournament so far. The fact remains that the best 8 teams in the world play only 12 of the 42 matches in the league stages. Most of the games between the big teams so far have been pretty exciting, which makes me look forward to the leaner and meaner 10-team event of 2015 with hope. I'm also prone to agree with an Indian website that suggested that the ICC has hired England to make the weaker teams look good. England are the type of hunter that took on a particularly ferocious lion and slayed it, came out of hand-to-hand combat with a grizzly bear with it's pride intact but then took a rather bad beating from an adolescent cub and a domesticated zebra. I'll save the debate of how the weaker cricket nations can be helped to a future point. Also, all the matches have been analyzed to death so I won't repeat that here. There are a couple of very interesting things to have come out of this world cup so far: the UDRS and the batting powerplay.

Now a lot of people realize that the Duckworth-Lewis is something that most people who aren't mathematicians won't understand all too well. Most people think of that as Forrest Gump's mama's proverbial box of chocolates: you open it and just accept whatever is inside it. The UDRS, however, is a completely different animal. On the surface, it's motive is simple enough: To eliminate as many errors from cricket as possible. However, keeping things simple is something the ICC (and lawyers) have traditionally struggled with (along with many other things including but not limited to getting things right and showing common sense). I'm pretty confident in their ability to bungling things up to an extent that they can probably make eating a bowl of cereal seem inhumanly difficult. Something I just haven't been able to grapple with is this whole system of appeals and 2.5 meter distances.

Now consider this alternative: The umpire makes a decision. In the time that the bowler walks back to his mark, the captain adjusts the field so the short third-man is 3 inches more to his right than before, the batsman adjusts his crotch and the camera-man focuses on his newly found true love in the stands, the third umpire does what he is presumably there for - takes a look at the decision and either upholds it (in which case no one notices), or overrules it (which would, admittedly, make everyone take notice). Now I'm pretty sure Darryl Harper would find ways to get even that wrong - he is the type of person I would not trust with using a coffee machine without being a serious threat to himself and those around him - but all in all, it would result in reducing the number of absolute howlers. Apart from making the whole system easier to understand than the Theory of Relativity. And let's face it - cricket is inherently a stop and start sport. And complaining about the few extra few seconds that this could potentially add is like complaining about a few extra drops in the ocean. 

Secondly, the batting powerplay has thrown up an extremely interesting conundrum to all capains: when to take it? It is like a harmless looking Trojan horse that could end up housing an army of lethal soldiers who attack when you least expect it. Something that by conventional wisdom is an ally to the batting side has been anything but, on an average. Like Robin Jackman said on commentary during the India-SA match, it doesn't matter when you take it, you have to bat well in it. Batsmen who take it start acting like 16-year olds who are under immense pressure of "being cool" from their peers and end up sucking at the wrong end of their cigar resulting in long, fitful coughing while also burning their tongues and looking extremely foolish and positively uncool in the process. Maybe the trick is to not try and be cool, to not try and whack the cover off every ball, to not try and feel the pressure of hitting in the air all the time, but pressure can make you do funny things. I have a feeling it is decidedly easier for armchair critics like me to sit around and talk about it than actually using a batting PP well. But I may be wrong. The trick really is to keep a realistic target and not try and score 70 runs off every batting PP. Kamran Akmal, after all, cannot be the keeper in every match. 

This also brings up another point: the temerity of modern-day captains. If the great explorers of the past were anything like any of the captains seen so far during the tournament, we would have thought the world is still flat, the English would have eaten their food without spices and  ... well, you get the point. Zero sense of adventure. Why, after all, does it need a batting power-play for them to bring the field in and make the batsmen take some risks?Also, one boundary followed by three dot-balls is definitely better TV than four ambled singles in a row while the batsman, bowler and fielders are on auto-pilot. 

So as things proceed towards the knockouts, the only thing to see really is whether Bangladesh are able to sneak in at the expense of England, and what the actual matchups are going to be like. Now this might be a bit of an oversimplification, but I get the feeling that the team that ends up conquering the batting powerplay might be the one that has the best chance of winning the trophy.  

Why the US dept. of Homeland Security is investigating Ravi Shastri

The first 3 days of the World cup so far (as well as the opening ceremony) have been largely predictable affairs, except for the New Zealand vs. Kenya game where New Zealand caused a major upset by skittling the 2003 semi-finalists for a meager total and then going on to polish the runs off in less than 10 overs themselves. For a side that has lost more games than it has played this year, to have such a confidence boosting victory in the first round means a lot. A slightly sterner test awaits for them in their next game against Australia. By a simple process of extrapolation, it can be argued that if Hamish Benett bowls his full quota of 10 overs, he will end up with 8-32 in that match, which makes a New Zealand victory almost a certainty. Surely, these one-sided ODI's have to end!

India and Sri Lanka both did what was expected of them by obliterating the minnows. India went so far as to try and help Bangladesh by playing Sreesanth, but even that could not stop them from scoring an 80+ run victory against the home side. Bangladesh seem to have a sure game-plan though. They are quickly taking all the pre-tournament pressure off themselves and trying to settle once again into the role of minnows before hustling their way towards a World Cup victory. If I read their strategy right, expect a 100+ run drubbing against either Ireland or the Netherlands before they pick their game up and end up winning the tournament unbeaten from that point and then winning the next 3 world cups without dropping a single game. There might still be some debate about the legitimacy of a "You just dropped the World Cup son" comment by Imrul Keyes when either Kapugedara or Angelo Matthews drops a catch at square leg while trying to celebrate (this is the part where the crystal ball gets a bit fuzzy) and Keyes then goes on to score a match winning century in the Quarter Final. It can thus be said that their World Cup campaign is off to the perfect start. From the time they put India in, only for Sehwag to blitz his way to a 175, the result was never in doubt. The gregarious Sreesanth did what he does best by providing the home side with some moments of cheer in his 5-over spell, but the writing was on the wall by then. It is interesting to note that India have never lost a World Cup when one of their batsmen has scored a 175 against a minnow nation so that must be a good sign for the tournament hosts.

Canada, of course, have no real ambition. They are only in it to click some pictures of Bangladesh and India for their flickr accounts and argue with fellow countryman Bryan Adams about what flavor of maple syrup goes better with a Kottu-roti. There are certain rumors that Canada have been specifically hired by Haroon Lorgat to lose games by such huge margins that no one argues about not including minnows in the 2015 World Cup anymore. Minor upsets like NZ victories over Kenya will be forgotten if Canada continue to play as per plan. Sri Lanka once again proved that on flat pitches and against bad opposition, there are no better looters. They hold a record for the highest ODI and T20 scores against minnows and I have already put a vast fortune of $1 on them beating that record during this World Cup. 

And finally, who can forget the opening ceremony? It captured the local flavor and the general theme of the tournament perfectly. But you had to read between the lines, of course. The boring speeches by the politicians and the overly long cultural shows represented the games including minnows during this World Cup that no one really cares about. Sonu Nigam and a local Bangladeshi woman dressed in a saree over someone like a Beyonce or Rihanna (say) represented how the ICC know exactly what the viewers don't want to see but will make no effort to do anything about it nonetheless. A performance by the 112 year-old Bryan Adams (despite being the best recorded performance by a person his age) went out to show just how the ODI format can still continue to entertain despite fears that is largely irrelevant. And a recording of the the largely un-inspiring World Cup theme song played 3 times in loop was a true representation of the lukewarm nature of a majority of the pre-quater games as well as the fact that its 3 times longer than it should be. It was all very cleverly done, it must be said. And then there was Ravi Shastri. 

While his constant mumblings of "tracer bullet" have put him on the radar of the US governments Department of Homeland security (who make it a business to make everything their business) for a while now, his accent at the World Cup opening ceremony put him firmly on the country's blacklist. Language experts analyzing his accent found traces of Egyptian, Iranian, Syrian and Cuban dialects in there somewhere without being able to trace his roots 100%. His dogs bouncer and beamer are now under a 24-hr watch and the US are showing a lot of restraint by not trying to bring democracy to his living room. How this sub-plot emerges might just be the most exciting bit about the World Cup before the Quarter finals start.

The World Cup is upon us!

And lo and behold! The World cup is here already. After 8 years! The ICC has announced after much deliberation that the 2007 World Cup did not happen. So Australia are still looking for their third consecutive title, India are yet to lose to Bangladesh in a World Cup game and Bob Woolmer is still alive. Ok none of that is true. But this time we can get it right. As long as Australia don't win again, India don't lose again to Bangladesh and Bob Woolmer does not die again, the tournament will be considered more successful than the last. Given that one of those three outcomes is extremely unlikely (Australia winning, of course), we can be sure this tournament will be a bit less of a drag than the last one. 

For those with the ability to pretend that the first month of the World Cup is of any consequence, it is a time of great excitement! Two groups of 7 each. Of which, there are 4 who have only recently figured out the difference between the meat and the handle of the bat. And of the rest, 8 will go through to the knockout phase. 8 among the 9 test playing nations and Zimbabwe. And just in case the teams don't get warmed up enough playing 6 league games before the knockouts start, there was an extra week of warm-up games. Considering that people with about the same IQ as those who approve of 7-match ODI bilateral series design the format for the World Cups, it really isn't that surprising. 

Having said all of this though, there is something about the India-Bangladesh curtain raiser that warrants special mention. No one needs any reminding of the circumstances in which India were kicked out of the WC last time round. If Bangladesh could have been considered a banana peel, India slipped on it quite spectacularly. In general, people who slip on banana peels are generally embarrassed. India took the art of banana slipping to unknown levels. By running as fast as they could (knowing that the banana peel had been put there for them), they did a somersault and landed with inch-perfect precision on the peel. And then slipped on it again while trying to get up and ripped their trousers in the process. All in all, it was a rather forgettable episode. 

If Bangladesh were at banana-peel levels of slippability then, they have attained the status of a newly waxed floor by now. Slightly harder to avoid. You have to wear the right kind of shoes and what not. They recently proved that in home conditions, an ODI victory against a fellow test nation isn't the cricket equivalent of a Haley's comet viewing anymore. They trashed fellow basement dwellers New Zealand 4-0 (and it wasn't 5-0 only because one of the matches was washed out). Certainly a team not to be taken lightly anymore. 

When asked about the challenge of facing Bangladesh, the newly anointed 'Obama of cricket' was quick to resort to the "Well of course, we will not be complacent" kind of reply that made for rather boring reading. Which is why the same question was then asked to Sehwag. If Dhoni offered a dour dead-bat, Sehwag closed his eyes, left his crease and swung wildly at it, as is his wont. He explained that he was looking forward to this "revenge" match. What a guy! Coming from the same person who had gone on to call them an "ordinary" opposition not-so-long ago, it was a typical Sehwagism, for the lack of a better term. The episode was doubly great to follow because this was the same guy who had started the procession 4 years ago by chopping a Mortaza delivery on to his stumps, resulting in a boom on the market for Sehwag-shaped flammable effigies. But now the time for talking is well and truly over as the action shifts to Mirpur for the opening game. 

The one key player whose services Bangladesh are likely to miss is that very Mortaza who had played a key part in that victory 4 years ago. Although Bangladesh have some honest seamers playing for them, they are definitely going to miss the nip with which he operated, not just in the match against India but through the rest of the tournament as well. Although their army of left-arm spinners will prove effective against teams not renowned for playing spin well (and will undoubtedly be a source of many nightmares for Kevin Pietersen), to win the World Cup, they will need to get past the subcontinental teams and that is where they might face an issue. Their bowling attack is eerily similar to India's 1970's test attack when Gavaskar and Solkar were used to take the shine off the new ball just so the real bowlers could start bowling. Having said that, after the warm-up games, India's current pace attack have not quite distinguished themselves either. However, with Zaheer Khan back and due to some more variety in the bowling attack, India are definitely the better bowling team. 

Where batting is concerned, India are the outright winners on paper but as we have seen in the past, that can count for very little. However, due to the sheer firepower at India's disposal, this could prove to be a lineup that's a bit too strong for Bangladesh to overcome. What is good to see is stability at the top of the order and the sheer brutality of Yusuf Pathan in the middle. He might be troubled by the really quick bouncer, but Bangladesh don't have anyone to test him and spinners stand as much of a chance against him as a bunch of sausages in a doghouse. 

It is very hard to imagine anything other than a comfortable Indian victory in this one. Of course, all of India want their team to not only beat Bangladesh but also make every team member run 20 rounds of the ground and do 50 push-ups for good measure. As Sehwag rightly said, this is a "revenge" match. There could have been no better game to signal the beginning of the World Cup!

A tale of two ballgames

Now I haven’t watched a cricket game live for a very, very long time. I did, however, watch as many cricket matches live growing up as I could whenever the BCCI deigned to give Bombay a game or two by taking cricket away from the big centers like Guwahati. And let me tell you this - the atmosphere at an India A vs. India B game was as sensational as it could be when the marquee players at this tournament consisted of such elite names as Gagan Khoda and Ajit Agarkar. I'm not going to complain about why the IPL was not around when I was in college and had all the time in the world and actually was in-situ, so to speak. Instead, I'll just reflect on the kind of excitement that games like those generated and even Khoda would agree that watching Sachin take on Kumble or Warne is slightly better than watching him pummel Kanitkar to all parts. So I can only imagine the kind of noise levels at the ground when this spectacle is in progress.

Contrast that to baseball. I was led into believing that baseball was a distant cousin of cricket and now that I live in the US or A, I might as well give it a chance. Which I did. And guess what - it is a distant cousin. But it's the kind of distant cousin that everyone tends to have (unless you are that distant cousin). You know, the type that grew up in a remote village where a toaster is still considered the greatest technological achievement of our times. Yes, that person. While most American sports are alive due to the marketing aspect associated with sports, baseball thrives on it more than any other. Watching a live game of baseball is about as exciting as watching the grass grow and the average American viewer relies on overpriced beer to get them through. I went to that Mecca of baseball watching - the Fenway Park to watch the Boston Red Sox take on the NY Yankees! Now that has to be a great game, correct? Unfortunately not. It's just not cricket. My memory of the game is alternating trips to the hotdog/beer stand and the restroom (the perfect cause-effect relationship). And watching other pink American males do the same without anyone really caring about what was going on in the game. The odd dog barked. And this wasn't some kind of Khoda-Agarkar contest. Jeter was leading the Yankees lineup, A-Rod was present, and Josh Beckett was pitching for the Sox. However, the average interest in the game was probably as high as it would be during the 4th day of a high scoring draw between a Vidarbha v. Tripura plate league playoff. And the end result? 1-0. I don't remember who won. And I did not remember the run being scored. I might have been watching - or maybe I was taking one of my aforementioned trips.

Moral of the story? All of those 7 people reading this post (if it's my lucky day), if you live in India - and you are geographically located anywhere close to a cricket venue, the next time a match comes along, please do watch it. Take you mother with you. Call you neighbor and ask them to bring their dog along. Maybe even your distant cousin. Because before you know it, you might be stuck watching a Yankess-Sox game at the Fenway with alternating trips to the beer stand and the rest room. So make the most of it while you can.